9. “Battle: Los Angeles is noisy, violent, ugly and stupid.”
8. “Its manufacture is a reflection of appalling cynicism on the part of its makers, who don’t even try to make it more than senseless chaos.”
7. “Here’s a science-fiction film that’s an insult to the words ‘science’ and ‘fiction,’ and the hyphen in between them.”
6. “The aliens are hilarious.”
5. “They seem to be animal/machine hybrids with automatic weapons growing from their arms, which must make it hard to change the baby.”
4. “The only characters I re member having four sentences in a row are the anchors on cable news.”
3. “[The alien battleships are] aggressively ugly and cluttered, the product of a planet where design has not been discovered and even the Coke bottles must look like pincushions.”
2. “Generations of filmmakers devoted their lives to perfecting techniques that a director like Jonathan Liebesman is either ignorant of, or indifferent to.”
1. (tie) “Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you’ve been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart.”
Click here to read original article by Christopher Rosen on Movieline.
Click here to read full review by Roger Ebert.
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